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DO I WITHHOLD MY LOVE?

The tragedy of life is not death but what we let die inside of us while we live Temple of Balance fb

“The tragedy of life is not death but what we let die inside of us while we live.”–quoted on Temple of Balance facebook page 

I watched a movie on TV last night about a young rodeo champion whose father always expected more from him and never expressed his love for him. When the son died in a rodeo accident, his father was shaken by the realization that he couldn’t remember ever telling his son that he loved him. As though he fully intended to do so some day, but just hadn’t gotten around to it. One time before his son died, he had started to tell his son how much he meant to him, but stopped and changed the subject. Possibly, he was not able to express his feelings without his voice breaking or his eyes glistening, and felt that that would not be manly.

 

How often do we fail to express our positive feelings about another person? Especially our love. When we live with someone, we may forget to mention how much the other person means to us. We may feel love for another and not say anything about it. If the moment passes without being expressed, it is lost. There may be another opportunity, but the other person may have needed to hear it then.

 

I must confess that at times I have preferred to sulk and wallow in  my victimhood rather than fan the spark of love smoldering in my heart and allow myself to feel love again for the person I feel wronged by, but whom I love very much. I just want to feel justified and indignant a bit longer, and I don’t allow myself to feel the love that is there. And I don’t focus on it and encourage it to grow again yet. Isn’t this withholding my love, just as I have been hurt by others who choose to withhold their love to punish me?

 

“God, help me find a better way. Help me have the courage to feel love, even when I have been wronged. Help me fan that spark of love in my heart when it has gone into hiding, and choose to feel love again. Help me initiate healing rather than requiring the other person to do so. Thank you, dear God. I love you so much.”

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